Online Dating

Ditch the dating sites for livestreaming for long term relationships

I recently gave thought to the most successful relationships I’ve had since my early 20s and realized livestreaming helped me find long term relationships while dating sites led me in circles.

I was sparked to think about this after an author who is planning to publish a book with tips for online dating recently contacted me about my online marketing services. She mentioned she had been in over 75 messaging relationships on a dating site, had over 40 phone calls and dated over 25 men until she met her current husband.

I was amazed this woman had the patience to meet so many men. I had only been on five dates from a dating site before I started feeling fed up with online dating. I found it difficult to learn about men simply from meeting off a website. Our conversations were shallow even after meeting a few times and I really did not know where to go from there. Should we just start a relationship or just stay “friends” even though we met with the intention of dating?

I have never really been a fan of dating sites to begin with because they convey that the whole point of meeting is to date. I’m more of a “let’s be friends” person and then see where it goes from there, so meeting people off dating sites immediately made me feel pressured and uncomfortable. I often felt like they were measuring me up to their standards, while I measured them up to mine.

On the other hand, I’ve had two long lasting relationships that developed from meeting through livestream broadcasting, or livestreaming. The first relationship lasted three years and even included temporary engagement, and the second relationship is one I am still in now for nearly three years. My current partner and I have actually been friends for over five years excluding the dating period.

Lauren Ell Talk online dating
With my partner whom I met through livestreaming.

So what is livestreaming? Livestreaming is where a person can stream a live broadcast of him or herself online. This can entail simply showing movie clips and images with audio or actually showing one’s face and speaking to an audience. Usually the channel features a chat room where viewers and the broadcaster can talk together, so the viewers see the broadcaster but the broadcaster does not see the viewers.

Livestreaming sites have a history of popping up and fading away. When I streamed ten years ago I used a website called BlogTV which has since disappeared. Currently the most popular livestreaming site is, which is known for being a livestream gaming site but in 2016 launched an “IRL” (“In Real Life”) category that applies to the type of streaming I am discussing.

Users can create a channel and develop their own livestream broadcast for free and can develop it as much as they want. The channel may simply be a place to talk about random topics or can be more structured with a specific theme and pre-scheduled talking points. There are channels where broadcasters discuss music, movies, politics and other topics. Since the livestream sites are online, viewers come from all over the world, are all ages and all sexes.

Originally I started a channel where I talked about my life but eventually wanted to spice things up so I created another channel where I discussed documentaries and other brainy topics I’m interested in. My audience grew and soon some viewers wanted to get to know me better so they asked to connect with me on Skype. I connected with a number of viewers on Skype and was okay friends with most of the them, while a couple stood out and became my favorite chat buddies. One of my favorite chat buddies happened to live close by so we scheduled to meet at a place that we were interested in and had no intention of dating whatsoever.

Not surprising, we found that we got along after first meeting and met a number of times until we decided to start dating. We ended up dating for three years and even had a temporary engagement, but, as with many relationships, over time we found our goals were different and we drifted apart.

I think we managed to get along so well because he was already familiar with how I looked, my mannerisms and talking style before we met, while I was familiar with his interests from chatting. We had already completed the initial stage of learning about each other’s character online. This is why I think livestreaming is superior to online dating sites – it allows people to have more in-depth conversations and viewing options than what typically occurs on dating sites.

Once my first relationship ended, I had more free time and began communicating more with my second best chat buddy who had remained a faithful friend for years. He lived far from me and was older, but invited me on a trip to Thailand which I gave some thought to before agreeing to go. I acknowledged that over the years while we had communicated that he was always courteous and willing to help me with projects, while also sending me photos of his daily life, home, and family (even his ex-girlfriend). Needless to say, he provided more information to me than anyone else I have ever spoken to online, so I decided he was trustworthy.

We happened to get along really well while traveling and visited each other a number of times over the next couple years until I asked if I could move in with him which was a big move on my part. We’ve been living together for nearly two years now and get along really well.

All in all, livestreaming has done wonders for my love life while not putting emotional strain on me as online dating did. I also enjoyed livestreaming because I was able to communicate with people all over the world and develop friendships, which is a plus. I love networking and conversing with others for fun.

I broadcasted about two times a week for one to two hours each broadcast. This really isn’t much time when thinking about all the hours that go into chatting on online dating sites, phone calls and then meeting in person just to find out the person is no where close to what you expected. Plus it was a lot cheaper than meeting people off dating sites considering I was spending time at home talking with people rather than spending money at restaurants to meet.

However, a downside to finding a relationship through livestreaming can be time and distance. Livestreaming tends to not be geared around dating so it can take more time to find someone you’re interested in and vice versa is interested in you. Also it can take time to develop an audience. For example I streamed probably ten times before I started having a couple consistent viewers.

Additionally viewers come from all over the world so they more likely are not within driving distance which can put strain on having a relationship. Dating sites allow users to find singles in their area which is convenient for people who already own homes, have full time jobs and other rooted responsibilities.

Lauren Ell is an American blogger born and raised in Southern California and is currently based in Sweden. She discusses Epilepsy, Politics and Fun. Professionally Ell is an Online Marketing Consultant and Virtual Assistant. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.